Happiness: what’s it all about?

Happiness, the pursuit of every human being. How does it look? What does it mean? How do we know when we are on the way to happiness, or walking further away from it? Wikipedia defines happiness as a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. A variety of philosophical, religious, psychological and biological approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources.

Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion. I would say there are two kinds of happiness: 1) a more permanent state of mind for people when looking at their lives feel happy; 2) happiness as a temporary emotion. As human beings we pursue both. The problem is that sometimes people confuse the pursuit of the temporary emotion with the final goal in life. People can get lost and detoured by trying to be in constant state of euphoria and get themselves in trouble and end up not happy in the long term. That is why people get into unhealthy relationships, drugs, conflicts… and any type of self-damaging behaviors. Why? Because it gives them the high or the momentary “happiness” that they are looking for. So what is wrong with the picture? That in the long term it doesn’t work because we are not supposed to be in this euphoric emotional state all the time. So while we pursue our final goal of happiness, whatever it is for you, we can enjoy little moments of happiness in our everyday lives. For example, for some happiness in life is to have a big house in the country and have a family. While that happens, that person can enjoy moments of happiness everyday by enjoying a party, meeting somebody, or receiving a good job offer.  

So in order to achieve both in life it is important to keep focus on the final goal while pursuing daily moments of happiness and both must be interconnected. How can you do that?

Be honest with yourself and only yourself. What do you want in life? Forget for a moment about your parents, your wife, what is best for the world… think about you and only you for a second. If you had a magic stick how would your life be?

Maintain that vision and then, based on your circumstances and reality think of options and what steps you need to take in order to be as close to that vision as possible. Most of us cannot reach that ideal but it is important to have one to give direction and meaning to our lives.

In everyday living we can pursue happiness by changing our thoughts and ways of thinking. We can work at having fewer negative thoughts and cultivating positive ones. After all you are in control of your mind and not the opposite. Your mind is part of you not all of you.

Practice half smile, even when you don’t feel like it. It has been scientifically proven that a half smile sends a signal to the brain to release endorphins and other substances that help us to feel better.

Gratitude. Be thankful for the things that you have in life. Happy people are the ones that focus on what they have rather than on what they want. Try to spend more time in your day enjoying the good things in life.

Consider forgiveness. Resentment is one of the biggest causes of cancer, stroke, and stomach ulcers. Remember that forgiving is a process that heals you so it is for your benefit not for the benefit of the aggravator.

Strengthen your relationships. Also proven, relationships are the main source of happiness in life. People that achieve money, career and success but do not have strong relationships still suffer from depression, addictions and are high prospects for suicide.

Letting go… oh wonderful thing. When you are upset about something try to think that you have two options: to continue being upset or to let go, regardless of all the reasons you might have to continue being upset. At some point, make a conscious decision to let go.

Accept the things in your life that you cannot change, otherwise you will only keep suffering. Try to practice the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” and your life will be happier day by day.

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